Your Wedding Affair

Your Wedding Affair
Nidelka Mayers
Phone: 866.544.0258
E-mail: yourweddingaffair@earthlink.net

Weddings & Honeymoons, the Premier issues Harlem, New York — February 2006, HARLEM WORLD magazine’s anniversary 2006 issue (April/May/June) invite brides and grooms to turn the pages of hw weddings and bring their wedding dreams to reality. The best weddings are born from dreams.  Escape the routine of day-to-day life, if only for a short period of time.  Professionals share places, tips, trends and secrets to planning weddings and honeymoons while turning wedding dreams to reality.

HARLEM WORLD magazine includes hw weddings — a ticket to style, culture and tradition: the guide for weddings in Harlem. Peek at parks, landmarks and historical locations ideal for hosting weddings.  Couples planning their wedding will discover all the unique resources available — from personalizing invitations, to custom-design favors and out of the ordinary wedding cakes and accessories.  Find out about the best in wedding gowns and tuxedos — whether the theme is contemporary or cultural. hw weddings zeroes in on the hot trend: Destination Weddings.  Discover the 2006 – 2007 top honeymoon destinations.

Once again, HARLEM WORLD magazine continues its strive to be the pioneer of new news — to venture into markets still underrepresented in the other mainstreams covering Harlem.  By partnering up with Your Wedding Affair, we are able to present, to our readers, the exotic beauty of the wedding and honeymoon.  The objective is for bride to be to plan her wedding uptown.

About Your Wedding Affair: a full-service provider for Events, Weddings and Destination Planning.  From planning an informal gathering to organizing an elegant celebration, our experienced and competent group of wedding consultants, event planners and travel agents are ready to bring to life any party theme visions and dreams of the perfect destination.  Ensuring that all details fit together seamlessly so that every aspect of the experience is unique, tasteful and memorable for everyone.  Events are our passion!

Harlem World Magazine is a privately owned lifestyle and service business started in 2003. We are committed to teaching, designing, enriching and inspiring with ideas, products, people an places that make every day more meaningful, more functional, and more beautiful.  Harlem World is stylish and distinctive, with original how-to information in a unique upscale creative content and aesthetic format. Harlem World is about the lifestyle of living the good life, helping our readers to learn and live life better.
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...  a female "best man" or a male "maid of honor"?

Yes it's okay: 60% (533 out of 888)
No it's not okay: 40% (355 out of 888)

Of the 888 respondents to poll, 60% thought that having an attendant of the opposite sex was OK, while 40% did not.

Quite a few of those respondents who did not want opposite sex attendants thought the whole idea was ludicrous. Others cited tradition as the reason for having a maid of honor and a best man and saw no compelling reason to change the tradition. Two respondents said that it would only be appropriate in a same-sex 'commitment ceremony' but not at a traditional wedding. Several thought that it would pose problems for the marriage if the bride or groom chose a close friend of the opposite sex to be an attendant.

Of those supporting the idea, most based it on the premise that nowadays people have more friends of the opposite sex. Or, perhaps, a bride does not have a sister, but she has a brother with whom she is very close. One person commented that "it marks an improvement in the civility of the sexes to be friends with the opposite gender." Many gave examples of close friends or family members who served as attendants. One wrote, "My mother was my best man." Another, "I was 'best person' at the wedding of a male friend almost 30 years ago and I am a woman. I was thrilled that he asked me, because not only was he a loved friend, but his wife is also." "My best friend is a male and he will be my "Man of Honor" at my ceremony. Why should I choose a female when my best friend had shared everything with me - tearful nights, gallons of ice cream and two trips across the country in the car. He has earned the right over and over to be a part of my 'big' day." Another questions, "Is the significance of the attendant his/her sex or friendship?"

It is not unusual nowadays to see a mixed wedding party. The opposite sex attendant is a close friend or relative of the bride or groom. It is a mark of the honor and respect the bride or groom has for this person. This attendant is usually referred to as an honor attendant, Groomsperson or Bridesperson. The bridal tradition is that a bride or groom chooses a close friend or confidant to be their personal attendant. In our humble opinion, we see that tradition being honored, even if the gender is changed.

Surver: Emily Post Institute  - www.emilypost.com

Let's see, you've got the wedding chapel and the caterer booked, the dress selected, the cake designed, the wedding invitations mailed, vows written, finances talked about-oops, didn't do the last item? Money conflicts are a leading cause of marital strife and divorce. A frank discussion of finances before you say "I do" will go a long way in helping you stay "I do forever." And harmony and understanding probably won't happen by themselves. So couples should set aside some time to discuss their philosophies and goals about money -- how much you want, how you want to use it and how to make it part of your happy marriage. While many of you would love to have the problem of too much money, most newlyweds, will feel that there's never enough money. That's why it's so important to understand your partner's approach to money and to manage it well.

Spender vs. Saver

Which of you likes to spend money and which likes to save it? Often in a couple, one person has a more liberal approach to money and the other has a more conservative approach. It is important to understand that neither of you is "right!" Instead, you will need to come to a spending agreement that works for you both! You might agree on some spending strategies that include maintaining a joint household checking account for household bills, but keep separate accounts for spending as you wish. This will surely involve some compromises as well as give and take.

Who does what?

Set up a weekly family meeting. My husband and I sit down for 30 minutes every Saturday morning and discuss the upcoming events of the week as well as other concerns. Be sure to also talk about finances, marital roles, and existing obligations to friends and family members. Who is going to be paying the bills? Who is going to monitor the investments? These are just a few of the questions you need to agree upon. What you decide about rights and duties in your marriage is not important; whether or not you agree is. Make sure you talk about your life goals together to make sure you both are on the same financial page. Do you want to have kids, travel, purchase a home or retire rich at age 40? You will have a much higher likely of achieving your dreams if you are both working together to achieve the prosperous life you deserve!

Contrary to common opinion, talking over one's financial circumstances, and perhaps financial differences, usually doesn't doom the wedding. Talking about your future finances will actually deepen, not divide, your relationship.

Stacy Francis
www.SavvyLadies.com