For the Boys
on your wedding day, you want your groom to behave like a grownup. Well before the big event, he’ll need to be aware of his responsibilities in the areas of budgeting, transportation, parties and wedding day etiquette. If your man is a flannel shirt and Dockers kind of guy, that could be a lot to absorb in a few ashort months. As his concerned bride, you might want to present him with a “groom’s guide,” found at any book store or specialty shop and filled with handy checklists and suggestions.
 photo by Tammy Byron Photography |
|
Your groom also can pass along responsibilities to his best man. Historically speaking, the best man was chosen for his strength and fighting ability as he assisted the groom in literally capturing his bride! The best man’s “support” also was needed on the wedding day to protect the bride from any rival who might try to carry her away. Thankfully, today this honored role is simply to provide support to the groom and carry out some small but important details. To get your intended started in the right direction, pass along these tips to your groom—and his best man!
Before the Wedding
- The internet’s “The Bride Lady” says a groom’s top priority should be providing the bride and her family with a complete guest list from his family, with accurate spellings of full names and addresses. Be sure, for instance, that Uncle Chuck is listed as “Mr. Charles Smith.” Also request a list of names and addresses from her family of those guests who will be attending the rehearsal dinner.
- Allow plenty of time for things like planning the honeymoon, booking
transportation for the wedding day and applying for the marriage license. Putting things off only adds to a backlog of responsibilities. - If a large wedding is planned, the groom should familiarize himself with guests’ names. This could save some embarrassment during the receiving line and reception.
- The groom and his best man should choose their wedding day attire together. They’ll also want to reserve attire for ushers and the ring bearer. Normally, the best man is responsible for seeing that rented formalwear is returned after the wedding.
The Bachelor Party
- Planning this rite of passage is generally the best man’s responsibility. It’s also his responsibility to choose a designated driver—and to make sure the groom doesn’t end up naked and handcuffed, hundreds of miles from home with no money!
- Never plan the bachelor party for the night before the wedding. There’s nothing worse than facing one’s wedding day exhausted and with a king-size hangover.
- Consider a bachelor party with a twist—one local groom we know suggested a weekend canoeing trip. Other alternatives to the usual night out at a strip joint include sea kayaking and a clam bake, a Red Sox game followed by a barbecue, a daredevil day of hang gliding or celebrating at a local Oktoberfest.
The Rehearsal Dinner
- On the day of the rehearsal, the groom should be sure the best man has the officiant’s fee and any other checks for service providers. Instruct him to deliver these the day of the wedding.
- This is the best time to present gifts to the groomsmen. Instead of the usual pen and pencil set, give something unusual like a silver compass for the outdoorsman, golf lessons, or tickets to a hockey game.
The Wedding Day
- The best man is responsible for driving the groom to the ceremony site at least 30 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin. The best man also should make sure the groom is properly attired and looking his absolute best.
- If the wedding party has no ring bearer, the best man holds the bride’s ring in safekeeping, until needed during the ceremony. The best man also should bring the marriage license to the ceremony.
- Don’t try to run any last-minute errands on the wedding day. If something absolutely has to be done, designate a family member for the chore. The groom should never run the risk of being late
to his own wedding. - If the groom is nervous, the best man can help him relax with a quick shoulder rub or a witty joke. But do not drink before the wedding. No groom will make points showing up at the altar with alcohol on his breath.
The Reception
- Maybe the most anticipated and dreaded event for the groom is the toast. His toast generally follows one given by the father of the bride. The groom should try to include a word of thanks to the guests for attending and for their gifts, as well as thanks to both sets of parents and his best man. He should compliment his bride and perhaps include a funny story about how they met or when they dated. However, he should never tell a story that could potentially embarrass her.
- The groom’s toast is followed by the best man’s speech, which traditionally is filled with humor, mostly aimed at the groom. The best man should avoid referring to anything the bride does not know about, and he should never refer to past relationships of either the bride or groom, since both could cause hurt feelings. As a nice touch, the best man also could read any congratulatory messages from absent family and friends. The toast should always end with heart-felt congratulations to the happy couple.
- Above all, the groom should relax, enjoy the day and try to spend some time with each and every guest, personally thanking them for coming to the wedding.
